The Return Of.

Went away. Now I'm back.

"Hello."

Much has changed since last I wrote:

• I live by myself now. I moved into a one bedroom apt just a few blocks from my old place where I have taken the bold move of giving up television.
• I managed to adopt a mother pigeon and her two babies on my balcony, but with a little salt, pepper, and KC Masterpiece, I can already see the situation resolving in my favor.
  
• The Indiana Jones movie came out and apparently wasn't worth seeing (which is why I didn't see it).
• I joined a gym, and I'm seriously going to go a lot this time. Seriously.
• Barack Obama clinched the Democratic nomination at the same time that John McCain clinched his bladder to avoid pissing himself.
• I got tickets to see Bob Dylan ribbit at Prospect Park in August.
• And of course, summer has arrived, and with it, barbecues on the roof, outdoor concerts, and the slew of restraining orders that come with staring too hard at women in thin sundresses.
  

Of course, some things are still the same. I'm still in advertising, convincing people that their lives will somehow be improved if they buy a certain cell phone or other useless piece of garbage. But everyone's got their little quirks, Kelly Ripa nonwithstanding.

Hope all of my reader(s) are doing well and that I'll actually have something to say in the upcoming months.