WTF?

If this doesn't entice you to try the product, then I don't know what will.

My Childhood Home

The house where I grew up in Plantation, FL. It's the one on the northeast corner.



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The tree to the right of the driveway in front was slightly uprooted by Hurricane Andrew, and the sidewalk near it is a mess. To the top left, there was a yard where my dog Scooter used as his personal toilet. You had to tiptoe around dog shit to get to the massive grapefruit tree that was there. Next to it was a mango tree. Under the mango tree, my sister nearly had a heart attack when my father picked up a stone to reveal a colony of cockroaches. I used to shoot eggs up against a tree with an air rifle in the backyard. Alligators used to get trapped in the drains on the corner. Wildlife Rescue would get them out, tape their mouths shut, and the kids in the neighborhood would be allowed to pet them.

I'm not sentimental about many things, but I always get a little emotional when I see my childhood home.

Saddam Hussein alive?

As seen the other night at Rio Grande on 38th and 3rd in Manhattan:

Not surprised, really. If anything can turn a Muslim into an infidel, it's the margaritas in that place.

Nachos ain't bad neither.

Where I'm From

marriedtothesea.com

I don't care how old it is.

This still cracks me up.



I don't have a clue of what she was even trying to say.

My latest radio spot

Man, clients are funny people.

As you can hear, one of the characters is named "Finklestein." We had a part in the spot where the character corrects the moderator's pronunciation of his name. We all thought it was cute, but the client was given a little too much time to think about it, and after a while, decided that it might offend some people.

The account executive and I are both Jewish, so we both assured her it wouldn't offend Jews.

"No, but it might offend people named Finklestein."

One of the writers here is named Finklestein. We got him on the phone, and he reassured us from the Finklestein demographic.

Regardless, she insisted that it be taken out. I love this business, and all of the people in it.

Luxury Glide Racks

That's what I'm thinking of.

It's 5:30 in the am, and I'm awake writing headlines...

About luxury glide racks.

What are luxury glide racks, you ask? They are oven racks on a new line of Electrolux ovens that sit on ball bearings, so they simply and effortlessly extend, making it easier to cook a rump roast or whatever.

I think the world would be a better place if we all had luxury glide racks. The Luxury Glide Racks is a great name for a band. LGR has a nice rhythm to it, as far as initialisms go. It's a pet name used for your children or loved ones (ie - "Come here, my little luxury glide racks, and give daddy a hug.").

"I don't know, Mary. I'm leaning towards the GE Profile Free Standing Convection Range Oven."

"But John, the racks on this Electrolux... I don't know how to explain it. They simply glide. Oh, you must try it. Here, try extending them."

(he extends them)

"See! See how they glide?! Such luxury! Such luxury!"

Oh, wait... I didn't even mention. These headlines are part of a kit issued to retailers who sell Electrolux appliances, so they can release them to local publications with their name listed. These retailers are referred to collectively as...

"The Dealers."

My creative director: "I don't know if the Dealers will go for this line, and basically, the Dealers call the shots..."

Of course they do. They're the Dealers.

Sleep. I want it so badly. But the Dealers demand appeasement, and so I shall write on through the night...

Salute to Ethan

This should give you some idea of what last night was like:


The ass featured above lost his camera and ended up being put into a cab, but does not remember any of it.

Ann Coulter

This video made me laugh out loud.


That woman has psycho in her eyes.

Doodles

Check it out, suckadooskis:

http://moleskineproject.com/2007/10/11/a-night-at-st-dymphnas/

My parents' comments might actually be better than the doodle itself.

Thanks to Lightman for telling me about the site, and to Ana and Diego for doodling inspiration and great company.

It just keeps getting better

So while I was asleep early Tuesday morning, I suddenly felt a sensation that I was outside my body, looking down. It startled me awake, and after relieving myself, I found I couldn't fall back to sleep. So I opened my laptop and checked Woot.

Must have been destiny, because looky what I gots:
TWO of them. For $20 total.

How friggin' sweet are these? Now I can dive bomb my coworkers from across the hall. I'm still wondering how much they can actually lift. I suppose all will be revealed in time.

Moleskine notebooks, samurai t-shirts and two mini RC helicopters. I'm a BALLA.

Bushido like a motherf**ker

Who's shirt? Casey's shirt.

That's what I'm wearing today. Does anyone know what the characters on the right mean? I don't wanna be walking around with a shirt that I think says "Mooove, bitch, get out the way" when it really says... well, something different.

Sweet Ass

Me and my lady drove up to the Berkshires Friday, and look what I done came back wit':
Jeah, son. A sweet ass moleskine notebook. I have already sketched many crappy doodles for work, and have found it to be much more flexible than my clumsy, 8x10 hardcover sketchbook. It even has a pocket against the back cover, with a ribbon bookmark and an elastic thingie that keeps that shit closed.

Life is good.