Luxury Glide Racks

That's what I'm thinking of.

It's 5:30 in the am, and I'm awake writing headlines...

About luxury glide racks.

What are luxury glide racks, you ask? They are oven racks on a new line of Electrolux ovens that sit on ball bearings, so they simply and effortlessly extend, making it easier to cook a rump roast or whatever.

I think the world would be a better place if we all had luxury glide racks. The Luxury Glide Racks is a great name for a band. LGR has a nice rhythm to it, as far as initialisms go. It's a pet name used for your children or loved ones (ie - "Come here, my little luxury glide racks, and give daddy a hug.").

"I don't know, Mary. I'm leaning towards the GE Profile Free Standing Convection Range Oven."

"But John, the racks on this Electrolux... I don't know how to explain it. They simply glide. Oh, you must try it. Here, try extending them."

(he extends them)

"See! See how they glide?! Such luxury! Such luxury!"

Oh, wait... I didn't even mention. These headlines are part of a kit issued to retailers who sell Electrolux appliances, so they can release them to local publications with their name listed. These retailers are referred to collectively as...

"The Dealers."

My creative director: "I don't know if the Dealers will go for this line, and basically, the Dealers call the shots..."

Of course they do. They're the Dealers.

Sleep. I want it so badly. But the Dealers demand appeasement, and so I shall write on through the night...